


Keep it

by Moooses



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: BB-8 (ment), Finnpoe - Freeform, Jessika (ment), Leia Organa (ment), Luke Skywalker (ment), M/M, Rey (ment), Snap (ment), Stormpilot, disabled!Finn, ptsd!Poe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 16:04:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5632630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moooses/pseuds/Moooses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe thinks back on life after Finn and makes a decision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep it

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first work here and I don't know if I tagged everything right, but I needed to join in on the stormpilot love. Also, this originally was going to be Poe stuck in the desert thinking of Finn, but after seeing the movie again I changed my mind.

They’re going down fast, Finn’s passed out and it's all Poe can do to stay awake and try to stop the ship from spinning. He tells himself he’s had worse wrecks, but then his brain reminds him he's never crashed in an out of control Tie Fighter before. Then just to make it worse, the ship starts tearing away, and he swears the next thing he’s gonna do is punch whoever made these shitty ships in the throat. 

Quickly losing consciousness, Poe figures it's time for the two of them to get the hell out of there and blindly searches for the eject button, hitting every button because why does it matter anymore. Wasn’t like there was a ‘stop falling to your death button.’

Suddenly he’s found it and he's up in the air and his body can’t take it anymore and he blacks out.

\-----

Poe came to at night, sand coating his face and he’s cold, he’s freezing, and his neck is in pain. He got to his feet and pressed a hand to the back of his neck and found it sunburnt. He looked around for any sign of Finn or the ship and saw nothing, not even smoke in the sky. There were stars, however, and he knew he had been out for too long.

He started circling out, hoping for some sign of the ex-stormtrooper or the ship. After what he guessed was an hour, he accepts the heavy feeling in his chest that Finn was mostly likely lost, and moves on. 

When he leaves his crash site behind he buttons his shirt closed, trying to stay warm, focused on remembering his survival training. He has to conserve his water. He had none. He has to backtrack. He couldn’t find the ship and he fell from the sky so there was nowhere to go. He mumbled that now would be a good time for someone to appear.

Hours later it daylight he's sweating buckets and has nothing to occupy his mind, except for Finn.

Why did Finn help him? He had said it was the right thing to do, but how did he know that? Stormtroopers didn't know any good, that was common fact, so how? Their whole life revolved around killing, so why did Finn not kill? Something had to be different. Poe pictured Finn growing up scared, just doing as told to avoid getting in trouble. Telling himself shoot or be shot. Dragging guilt around like a ten tons weight.

Poe wonders if Finn had found him, if he would’ve kept him warm when he was out. For survival, naturally. When he finally fell asleep he was haunted by dreams of Kylo Ren sitting in his head, casually reading his most private thoughts like the morning news. Poe is strapped to that table again, forced to watch.

He wakes up and there's sand in his hair, in his boots, in his suit and his underwear and he thinks he's never been more uncomfortable in his life. He shakes it out as he walks, not getting it all out. 

He wanders for a few hours, still thinking of Finn. Wonders how long he had wanted out, how long he waited for a pilot to get captured. 

Distracted, he almost didn’t see the figure in the distance, but as soon as he does he bolts for them. They look like they're dressed in all white but their head is black and all Poe can think is Finn. 

Getting close enough he sees it is. It is Finn. It's Finn and he’s standing there arms open and he’s smiling and- and Poe runs right through Finn's body and falls face first into the sand. He remembers more of his survival training. Hallucinations. 

He gets up and walks on without looking back. 

The fake Finn starts talking at one point, after following him for a while. Talking about the crash, the First Order, how thankful he was Poe got them out alive and he wanted to keep his name forever and that Poe was just what he needed and he was so happy he could kiss him. When Poe passes out he’s thankful the torture is over.

\-----

He comes to in a bed, an alien he doesn't know hovering over him offering him water. It's hardly any and it's not clean but he downs it in one go. When he's more stable he’s lead to another alien, different species, who tells him in basic where they found him and how long he was out. A day. He doesn't care. He asks if they found someone called Finn. They hadn't. He asks for a radio, and they show him one. He contacts base for a find and rescue. 

The ship that comes to get him is Jessika’s, and she smacks him lightly for nearly dying. He asks if she found Finn and she replies that she didn’t even find the wreckage. When he practically deflates she asks why this ‘Finn” was so important. He tells her the story the whole way back to base, and doesn’t take note that the ship had room for three.

They keep him in the med bay as long as they can, since he’s malnourished, dehydrated, and went through torture but he insists to get out and fly as soon as he can. He doesn’t tell anyone that it's so he doesn’t picture the conversations he and Finn could have, waiting to heal up. But he does tell everyone about Finn.

His first mission involved saving BB-8. Hope swelled in his chest that maybe his other friend managed to get off that damn desert planet too, before his brain reminds him BB-8 wasn’t on that ship. They fly out and unleash hell. And to Poe, the lightsaber everyone was talking about over comms was more of a marker that showed him someone that looked a lot like Finn. He’s not really sure but he fights a little harder. Snap tells him to stop showing off.

When they get back to base, he hops out of his ship, determined to find who had the saber, he chats for a moment with someone congratulating him, and suddenly he’s reunited with BB-8. He kneels down and smiles at them, and they go on about this guy who they thought stole his jacket, named Finn. Poe’s head snaps up and he sees his savior. That time when he ran he knew he wouldn't fall. 

Finn almost gives the jacket back. Poe let's him keep it. 

When he takes Finn to General Organa and she says she's heard of him, Poe tells himself that maybe he should talk about Finn a little less.

Snap and Jessika sit with Poe before going to the starkiller. They tell him stories from their childhood, stupid adventures, anything that will distract him from the thought of going back there. It works. 

\-----

Poe visited Finn’s bedside everyday, at first with Rey, and when she left it was either Snap, Jessika, or BB-8. Snap teaches him how to sew when he joins, and soon the jacket is fixed. Jessika talks to him about how she’s created a betting pool for when they get together, and everything else that will make him embaressed. BB-8 just sits with him in silence.

Poe is there when Finn wakes up. 

\-----

Finn tells Poe about his stormtrooper life for the first time while watching the sunset. Poe had rolled his wheelchair outside just so he could have a calm moment, once he was healthy enough.

Finn tells him in particular about Slip, the closest thing to a friend he had. Slip was Slip because he fell behind, and Finn always tried to help him. He was told by Captain Phasma to let him fall behind. His other friends Nines and Zeros made fun of them. He was by Slip’s side when he died.

Poe realized real Finn wasn't like the fake Finn he had pictured in the desert. Fake Finn was scared for himself, defended himself, saved Poe to save himself. Real Finn was scared for others, defended others. Saved Poe to save him. 

Finn took his hand for comfort. Poe let him keep it. 

\-----

Rey comes back and Finn is on crutches now, and tears are in her eyes before she even gets off the ship. Luke and Leia mirror their hug some ways behind them.

Rey comes over to Poe and thanks him for helping Finn, thanks him from helping him from the start. Before he can really respond she's off to catch up with Finn, and he figures he should join in.

She tells them of her training. Using the force to lift rocks and boulders, and Luke once, just to see if she could. She had learned some ewok, but couldn’t pronounce it, and watching her try was hilarious. And probably offensive.

Finn and Poe tell of Finn’s recovery. They complain about all the stairs they had to face (and all the times they fell down them) and how they once ran over the General’s foot. The medbay got Finn a hoverchair after that though.

\-----

It's the same day Finn can walk on his own again that Finn catches Poe having a nightmare. Poe had taken to sleeping on the couch so Finn could have the bed, and falling off said couch is what gave him away. Finn sits with him until he's ready to talk about it.

Poe leans on him as he shares. The fear and feeling of Kylo Ren in his head, the nightmares, anxiety attacks before some missions. Guilt for losing members of his squadron, for telling the enemy about BB-8, flashing back to that damn table.

Finn wraps Poe in his arms and tells him it's not his fault, that he can come to him anytime he needs comfort, that he's never going near that table or Kylo again, and that he's not going to lose him. 

Poe doesn't answer and Finn adds that Kylo is bitch jerky anyways. That gets him to laugh. Finn falls asleep around him and Poe keeps himself there when he passes out too.

\--=--

He pulls himself out of his memories and decides it's time to do it.

Now he isn't force sensitive, but he knows BB-8 will wolf-whistle, Rey, Snap, and Jessika will hoot and holler, and Finn will say yes.

They're all taking a break alongside the hanger, relaxing in the shade, and Poe is gonna ask Finn if he can kiss him. He's got his arm around Finn who's leaning into him, and having a hold of what used to be his jacket is both strange and satisfying. Their backs are to the cool metal of the hanger, and Finn has been watching the others lazily. They both previously were playing with them, but Finn’s spine started to hurt and Poe didn’t want him to be out on his own.

He keeps shifting in his place, feeling Finn breath besides him. Confident in the answer or not, he was still nervous.

Finn suddenly sat up straight against him. “Are you okay? Are you having an attack?” He gave him a look filled with worry. He had probably noticed all the fidgeting he was doing.

He shook his head. “No, no, just trying to get myself to do something.”

“What is it?” Finn had the most curious eyes.

Deciding it was now or never, he took a deep breath and held both of Finn’s hands in his, turning to face him better. He stared at their hands as he spoke. “I've known this for awhile now, about since that time I tried to carry you down the stairs without your wheelchair and we fell and laughed so hard we thought we'd have to go back to medbay.” He bit his lip, he was rambling. “But uh, you're really great, you're amazing actually-” there was no way he wasn't blushing. “-And I like you, a lot, loads even…though honestly who doesn't.” Just get to the point Dameron. “And I wanted to ask you if I could kiss you.”

“Poe I don't know the first thing about kissing.” Finn chuckled making the pilot look up in panic.

“Is that a no?” His hold on Finn goes slack.

Finn squeezes his hands. “No! Yes?” He sighs. “I meant that I’m not going to be very good at this. Yes, you can.”

That's all he needed before he cupped Finn’s face in his hands and kissed him soundly on the mouth. And as predicted, their friends cheered.

He pulled away and glared at them, “Oh shut up!”

Then Finn grabbed him by his chin and kissed him again, and he keeps it going.


End file.
